


I Heard You

by Downunderroute



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 6 years later, After season 4 finale, Bellamy Has Feelings, Bellamy-centric, Bellarke, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Love, Not Really Character Death, Pining Bellamy, Protective Bellamy, Radio works, Reunion, Reunions, Sad Bellamy, Sex, Smut, Suicide Attempt, space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 03:12:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Downunderroute/pseuds/Downunderroute
Summary: Takes place right after season 4 finale.All is canon up to this point except echo, she killed herself back on the island, ha!It gets a bit dark for Bellamy.There is a reunion eventually, some smut, some feelings, some happiness.All Bellarke.





	1. I left her behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suicide attempts, as in multiple.

Air, sweet air. They are alive and they laugh and cry.

Murphy clings to Emori and Raven, Harper and Monty lie on the floor next to them.

They are breathing, they laugh, they smile.

They all lay there just breathing, all except Bellamy.

He is up on his hands and knees and cannot catch his breath.

His lungs are on fire. His mind is racing, his thoughts are of her.

He left her behind.

Her last act was to reconnect the satellite and turn the power on in go-sci.

He left her.

They are alive because of her, yet he left her behind and it kills him.

He is shaking, his whole body starts uncontrollably shaking, and he can't stop it.

Suddenly a deep primal scream wells up inside him.

He is doubled over on his knees, he holds fast to the floor as if it was a teather to reality.

He cannot stop the tears or the screams.

"No,no,no,nooooo!" "Oh god! What did I do!!??" 

Ravens puts a hand on his back, her own tears freely falling. Now Harper and Monty, Murphy, and Emori.

They cry all huddled up to him in the hallway.

They don't speak because they know. Clarke is dead and she saved them all.

They all left her to die too.

 

Notes - echo is not there because fuck echo


	2. 1 month After Praimfaiya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mess I made - by Parachute
> 
> Should've kissed you there  
> I should've held your face  
> I should've watched those eyes  
> Instead of run in place  
> I should've called you out  
> I should've said your name  
> I should've turned around  
> I should've looked again  
> But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

 He wakes up, they are still asleep in the hallway. 

 His vision is blurry, his bloodshot eyes are puffy and red.

He walks quietly down the hall away from the group.

His thoughts are dark. Too dark.

His mind wanders to all he didn't do, all he failed at.

 _"I can't save anyone_."

_"2569 Skycru are dead."_

_"Octavia is under the floor again, with 99 of our people left, or they are all dead."_

_"Clark is dead_."

_"I did it, I killed them all."_

" _I am a monster_." 

He drops to his knees and sobs. 

"I couldn't save anyone"

He pulls his pistol out from his waistband. 

He puts it to the side of his head.

"May we meet again Princess." He whispers.

He pulls the trigger.

BANG! 

 

 

The sound echos throughout the ring.

The gang is woken up with its sound. 

Fear grips their faces as they lock eyes with each other and begin to register what they heard. 

"Where's Bellamy?" Raven asks the gang. 

They run throughout the ring looking for Bellamy and the sound.

"Holy shit!" Murphy exclaims.

"I found him! Raven come quick." He tells.

Bellamy is on the floor, the gun still in his hand. Blood is oozing from his skull. 

Murphy grabs a nearby towel and holds it tight to Bellamy's head. 

"Hang in there man, just hold on" he tells him.

Raven and the rest of the gang rush into the room.

"What the fuck?" Raven yells.

"Is there a stow away?" 

"Who shot him"

"We need to search the ring" 

Raven is hysterical. 

"Stop it!" Murphy yells at her.

"He shot himself." He whispers with tears in his eyes. "He did this."

They all gasp in horror. 

"Just help me stop the bleeding, he's still alive for now." Murphy commands the gang. "Find me some medical supplies! I need to clean the wound and see how bad it it."

The girls race off to look for supplies.

"Monty, help me get him onto the couch." Murphy orders him.

They move Bellamy and manage to stop the bleeding. 

Raven returns with disinfectant and gauze.

Murphy takes them both and offer a small smile. "Thank you."

He begins to clean the sound on Bellamys head. 

As he cleans through his tangled hair and brushes away the dirt, gun powder, and dried blood he finally sees the wound.

He breathes a deep sigh.

"What, what is it? How bad is it?" Raven questions frantically.

"Fucker is a bad shot." Murphy breathes out 

"What are you talking about" Raven blurt s out.

"Dude missed not once but twice when he shot Jaha, now he missed again." Murphy's sighs.

"What do you mean he missed?" Raven exclaims.

"Look, it's a flesh wound. He fucking missed." Murphy tells her.

He smiles slightly, relieved that his friend wasn't dead after all.  

They spend the next few hours sweeping the ring for weapons, hiding all they find. 

They spend the night in the room with Bellamy, fearing what could happen if they leave him alone.

Bellamy wakes up and looks around.

_"How am I not dead?" He wonders._

He tries to sit up but groans as the throbbing pain in his head forces him to lie back down. 

Raven wakes up when she heats him groan.

"Hey, take it easy." She tells him.

"It will get better" she tries to assure him. 

"We need you Bellamy." She begs him. 

"I am no good for anyone, I just kill everything I touch." He confesses.

He turns over on the couch, his back to her.

"It will get better, Bellamy. Trust me I know " Raven softly tells him.

"Clarke's still dead. I killed her. How the fuck is that gonna get better?" He cries.

"Let us help you." She whispers.

"Leave me alone Raven." He whispers coldly.

[][][][]

Weeks pass and nothing changes.

He is lost without her.

He walks around the station a shell of his former self, with a now vacant distant look. As if his soul was removed and left behind on the planet.

He is alive but barely living.

He sees her, everywhere. Sometimes she is standing against the wall, just staring at him.

Sometimes she is at the table with them eating, staring at only him. He sees her at night in his room, covered in blood, gasping for air.

When the ark came down, there was much damage to the go sci ring. With only 7 of them, it would take at least a year to clean up and make all repairs.

Bellamy welcomed the montonony. Each morning he would wake up and think of her.

In the day time his mind was busy, in repairs, calculations, cleaning, giving orders using his head, doing all to keep them alive, but at night, at night his mind would wander and his dreams would haunt him.

Each day he has vivid dreams about her death. He can see her skin bubbling, black blood oozing out of her eyes and nose and mouth.

 Every night he sees her dying right before his eyes, taking her last breath in his arms.  He cries himself to sleep and screams when he wakes. He gets no relief from his heartache.

He barely eats, barely speaks, to anyone.

He gives orders to keep them all alive.

 His eyes are always glazed, as if on the verge of tears at any given moment.

 [][][][]

Raven tries to help.

One night Raven offered him comfort, he refused.

She pretends to be angry, "Oh you don't want me now that I am crippled?" She goeded him.

Pushed him.

"I'm not Finn." He told her.

"'I'm not her either...but for a moment we could be." Raven proposes.

In desperation, anger and loneliness he reaches out to her.

They kiss with a longing. Longing for each one to be someone else.

For a brief moment he can feel her on his lips, he can feel her body pressed up against him.

His eyes are squeezed shut.

He can see her face, her blond hair, her smile.

For just a moment he lost himself in Raven arms, forgetting.

In the heat of the moment he whispers "I love you"

Raven pulls away.

He opens his eyes, In that moment he remembers Raven isn't her.

It is too much, he backs up to the wall like a wounded animal and falls to the floor in a crumpled mess.

He can't breath and the tears don't stop.

He leans to the floor and screams...aughhh!!!

"Not her! Not her! No, no, no, no! NO!"

Raven just holds him as he weeps.

A single tear rolls down her cheek. She knows his pain.

They sit in silence while his tears flow.

He laments, "We should have waited, I should have stayed. I did this to her. I left her. I killed her"

He passes out on the floor and Raven leaves.

She comes to the mess hall where the gang are having a drink, she grabs Monty's cup of moonshine and drinks it down in one gulp.

"Hey, what the hell!" Monty chides.

"How'd it go?" Murphy asks with a smirk.

Raven stares out the window, "Awful" she responds.

"He is lost. No one can help him. Not even me."


	3. 4 months after Praimfaiya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning suicide attempt.  
> It's dark in this chapter.
> 
> Step one, you say we need to talk  
> He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk  
> He smiles politely back at you  
> You stare politely right on through  
> Some sort of window to your right  
> As he goes left, and you stay right  
> Between the lines of fear and blame  
> You begin to wonder why you came  
> Where did I go wrong?  
> I lost a friend  
> Somewhere along in the bitterness  
> And I would have stayed up with you all night  
> Had I known how to save a life

 4 months after praimfaiya, exactly 1 year since the 100 were sent to earth.

Bellamy waits till everyone is asleep.

He writes a note:

        _I am sorry. I wasn't strong enough to do this... without her._

 _-_ Bellamy

He undresses and leaves behind his shirt and boots. Just his jeans are on, sitting low on his hips.

Silently, he walks down the hall to the airlock. 

He touches the outer doors and sighs. "I am sorry."

He steps into the airlock, his mind fixated on her.

He remembers his mother being floated.

He sees the arkers he killed.

He sees the countless grounders he killed, over 500 of them.

He sees the 387 Mountain Men, women and children he killed.

He pictures Octavia being put in prison and now dead in the bunker.

He envisions Clarke, beautiful and surrounded by light. She is floating and reaching out to him. "Take my hand." She whispers. "Come home Bellamy. Come home."

He whispers back, " I am coming home, Princess."

His arms splay out to his sides like a crucified saint, his right hand is on the switch to open the airlock...he breaths out a deep sigh..."May we meet again." He closes his eyes...

Meanwhile...

Murphy can't sleep. Space has too many bad memories. He walks the halls this night, as he does every night to clear his head.

He hears the airlock alarm and runs towards it.

He sees Bellamy in the airlock with a hand on the release switch.

He hits the manual override button outside the airlock, cutting off Bellamy's access.

He opens the airlock and grabs Bellamy dragging him out into the hall.

Bellamy fights with all his might to get back into the airlock.

"No John, let me go! Let me be with her! I need her! Just let me die!" Bellamy screams.

He flails his arms and legs with wild abandonment and desperation.

Bellamy screams again, "I deserve to die for what I've done, even you know that! I am not strong enough to do this!"

"No, I can't let you." Murphy yells out. 

"Let me go!" Bellamy screams.

They are grappling on the floor.

Bellamy is grasping at the door of the airlock, desperately trying to claw his way back into the room. 

The alarms and screams wake up the rest of the gang. Thry run down the hall and see Murphy and Bellamy fighting on the floor.

"Stop Bellamy, just stop!" Murphy yells.

Raven sees the note and reads it quick, she gasps and immediatly overides the airlock door code and shuts it down.

Bellamy screams, "No!!!"

John punches him in the head hard and knocks him out.

The look of horror on everyones face is great.

"Did he just try to..." Emori asks. Murphy nods his head, yes.

"God, not again! " Monty exclaims.

"He's been trying to drink himself to death for months. It's been this bad and we just refused to see it." Raven responds.

"He loved her." Murphy says while staring into Emori's tear filled eyes.

"He can't bare to breath without her. He found the one person in this whole fucked up world that got him, understood him, saw all his flaws, yet accepted him and loved him for who he is. Then he lost her. I would want to die too if I lost that" Murphy eyes are raw and tears are streaming from his face. Emori is crying too.

"It's more than that. There is a hole inside him. He feels he doesn't deserve love, doesn't deserve that happily ever after. As if he is destined to be miserable and he was no way out of it." Raven explains.

"I miss her too" Harper admits.

"I miss her and Jasper." says Monty as her slips an arm around her.

"Sinclair gave his life for me, He was like the only father I ever knew." Raven cries. "I miss him and Finn so much. She was my friend, she saved me over and over, I miss her too."

"My brothers dead." Says Emori. "He was the only one there for me growing up, I miss him so dearly."

They all sit on the floor while Bellamy is passed out.

Murphy is still holding onto Bellamy as if was going to run away at any moment.

"Sorry Bellamy, I can't let you die old friend" Murphy whispers to him. 


	4. You can't die, we need you.

The next morning they are all sleeping on the floor in that very same spot.

Bellamy wakes up and looks around the hallway. "You should have let me die Murphy! Fuck you all." He yells as he stomps off to his room.

Raven reprograms all the airlocks so Bellamy cannot use them again.

Now, 24/7 they all take shifts, watching him. Making sure he doesn't kill himself.

He has stopped talking to them, to anyone. He has no reason to live and just shuffles through the day.

Raven gives the orders now.

They all take turns caring for Bellamy. They bring him food and make sure he eats it.

They watch him when he is making repairs.

He is never left alone anymore, but he feels more alone than he ever has in his whole life. 

The worst is when he sleeps.

It"s Harper's turn tonight, Monty stays up with her outside Bellamy's door.

The screaming starts, "Clarke? Clarke? NO! Where are you??" They rush into his room and he is on the floor covered in sweat, tears streaming down his face. He is still dreaming.

Monty watches as Harper pulls Bellamy's head into her lap. She whispers, "shhhhhhh, shhhhh, I am here, I am right here with you" while running her hands in his hair and on his face. She hums a little lullaby to calm him. He cries until there are no more tears and falls deep into sleep.

Monty just stares at her. Harper looks up and meets his eyes. A small smile is on Monty's lips and he has a look of amazement on his face. "What?" she whispers.

"You are amazing, I Want to make babies with you." Monty whispers to her.

Harper smiles and whispers "Someday."

"If it's a boy can we call him Jasper?" Harper inquires.

A single tear rolls down his face, he loves her so much. He nods.

Raven takes the next nights shift.

She hears the familiar screaming from his room and rushes in. It is a wrenching sight to see this large strong man, their leader, writhing in the pain of heartbreak.

He cries out, "NO!, Clarke don't go! Don't leave me, not again" Tears stream down his face, he reaches out for her and she's dead, again.

This time Raven goes to comfort him.

He wakes up. "Get out, I don't need want you in my bed Raven."

"Bellamy shut up, You need me. I need you, hell we all need you. Let us help you!" He just stays in bed with his back to her and lets out a soft body shaking cry.

Raven lays next to him with her hand on his shoulder.

Eventually he falls back asleep or passes out. She isn't sure, not does she care, for tonight at least he sleeps.

 

 


	5. 5 months after Praimfaiya

5 months after praimfaiya

He has taken up residence in Clarke's room.

He stills sees her everywhere, but now he has taken to talking to her too.

Sometimes he tells her about his day, or bounces ideas off of her when trying to solve problems.

He is working in the control room, when he hears a crackle. "Bell....I am alive!" he grabs the radio, "Clarke, Clarke?? Is that you?" Silence

He runs to get the gang and tells them what he heard, but no one believes him.

He spends the next week sleeping in the control room he knows he heard her, she's alive. 

A week later the gang and Bellamy are working in the control room attempting to repair the communications.

Bellamy cuts his hand and yells at the corner of the room where he sees her standing.

"Stop staring at me! Just talk to me! I can't take this anymore!" Bellamy shouts. "Talk to me!"

They all look at him, as he screams at nothing in the corner.

They break and look at each other.

Raven slowly gets up and puts her hand on his arm.

"Bellamy, she isn't there." He turns to look at her.

"She...she's right here with me" as he gestures to the corner.

Monty begins to come over, tears in his eyes. "She's gone, Bellamy..."

Bellamy pulls his arm away sharply, "Fuck you all!" and leaves the room.

6 months after praimfaiya

The gang is in the control room working on repairs, Raven has been desperate to work on the radio. "If he can just talk to his sister, maybe he won't loose his mind anymore" she thinks to herself.

All of a sudden the radio comes to life.

Buzz. Buzz, crackle, crackle, garbled voices, a crackle again and then a clear voice comes across.

"Bellamy, Can you hear me?"

It's a voice from beyond the grave.

No, It's her voice. She's not dead.

This time they all hear it too.

"Bellamy, I miss you, I don't know how to do this without you. I need you." Clarke says.

His knees buckle under him, it hits him like a freight train. You're alive and I left you behind. I left you for dead.

He is on his knees on the floor, his hands in his hair. 

"Can..can you all hear her too?" He hesitates as he barely croaks out the question.

"You are not crazy, we hear her too." Raven whispers softly.

He smiles slightly, his eyes welled with tears. An astonished look on his face.

"She's alive." He whispers.

They silently listen together.

"Remember that day we found the depot bunker. That was an awful wonderful day. I stopped Dax killing you, but really you saved me. From that day on, any time I needed you, you were there. Always. You were my heart Bellamy, you are my heart." Clarke confesses.

He smiles just a hint more.

Raven whispers, "I'm...I'm sorry the microphone is still broken we can't talk to her yet."

They all felt odd listening in on such private outpourings of affection in a conversation clearly meant for just the two of them.

One by one they smile at him, patting his arm or shoulder and shuffle out, leaving Bellamy in the control room.

His tears have dried and as he lays on the floor of the control room. His mind is flooded with memories of her.

He has a reason to live. They all have renewed hope. She's alive. They need to work together to get back there for her, for everyone.

Bellamy moves into the control room. He hears her words almost every morning, waking him up, filling his day. Her words are only for him, everyday.

"Bellamy, I miss you with every fiber of my being. I love you. I am sorry I never told you before. You are my heart. I will love you always." Clarke confesses to him. 

"I love you too princess." He whispers.

His heart is back in his chest. 

"I will come back to you, I will do this for you." He professes.


	6. 9 months after praimfaya

Bellamy screams loudly from the control room, "I have a daughter!"

The gang all run to the control room in time to hear the tail end of her one sided conversation.

"Bellamy, she has blue eyes like mine with freckles and dark hair like you. I know you will love her as much as I do." Raven and Monty hear as they are working on the coms, desperately trying to establish two way communication.

They both look at each other with a raised eyebrow of slight confusion,  and then look to Bellamy wide eyed.

Raven softly asks, "Bellamy, I thought you guys didn't.." He cuts her off.

"I have a daughter, her name is Madi. She found a baby, a nightblood, a child that looks like us." Bellamy smiles wide.

"You should see it. The earth looks so bare. As far as I can tell there is a tiny patch of green near us, the rest of the world is gone." Clarke continues. 

"Bellamy, I just need to know you are alive. It's killing me not knowing." Clarke laments. 

"I need to tell you something." She hesitates and is sullen.

"I tried to end it a few months ago.. I couldn't take it. Being alone, the only one left on earth, being without you Bellamy, it was killing me. I walked up to the cliff and was going to jump. I saw you surrounded in light, you reached out to me, you said, "Come home princess. At that moment I saw a shooting star. I knew what to wish for, it was you. Then I knew, I knew you were alive. I had to survive for you Bellamy. Now, I survive for both you and Madi."

He gasps and brings his hand to his mouth as tears spill. 

"That was me princess, that was me!" He cries.

 "I told her about you, I tell her stories about all of you. I told her how you are in the stars for now. She already loves you as much as I do." Clarke is heard over the radio.

"I tell her about you too Raven, the strong mechanic, Harper the brave tortured soldier, Monty the wizard of botany, Murphy the jokester and friend who saved my life, Emori the finder, and you Bellamy the brave knight, The Rebel King."

She thinks you are all just fairytales I tell her, please come home and prove her wrong!"

 

 


	7. We are not gonna make it

Time passes faster than he expected.

He has permanently moved into the control room, listening everyday to Clarke's radio calls.

It took them all a year just to get the go-sci ring in shape so they could survive another 4 years on it. 

Monty and Harper got married, as did Emori and Murphy. 

Raven is Bellamy's best friend. 

He considers all of them his family.

He no longer keeps his feeling or thoughts in.

When he has bad days, he talks with Raven or Murphy to get through them.

He is determined to get back to the earth, to Clarke.

She is his sole reason for living for working hard to get this done.

The have been working on making more hydrazine for the rocket, it is a slow going process.

5 years after praimfaya.

"Bellamy, we need to talk." Raven says hesitantly. 

"There isn't enough fuel to get back yet." He responds somberly.

"How do you know?" She asks.

"I know you, Raven. I can see it on your face." He answers.

"I am so sorry." She tears up.

He rushes to her and hugs her.

"Its okay!" He assures her.

"I know you are doing your best here. We all are." He continues.

"I see that other look too. I am not going to fall apart like before. Clarke's alive and I have so much to live for. I am disappointed, and upset, but I will be fine." Bellamy reassures her.

"I just feel like I am letting all of you down, especially you" Raven whispers as the tears flow.

"Hey, hey. It's alright. We are all in this together." He whispers. 

The rest of the gang shuffle in. They were waiting outside the room, hesitant on how he would react to the news.

They all hug him. 

Everyone is crying.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay guys. Look we will get back there. Come on, let's go have a drink." He smiles and wipes his eyes.

"We will get through this, what's one more year?" he smiles crockedly.

They sit around themess hall drinking a large cup of moonshine.

Bellamy finishes his cup in three gulps. "Okay, I have to admit I am not fine." He sighs deep and everyone is immediatly concerned.

"However, I will get through this with you guys, really. It's not the end, it's just a set back."   He reassures them all.

The old Bellamy has been back for years. The strong reassuring leader with great speeches. They are grateful he is back.

They hoped he wouldn't fell back into his depression. 

He hasn't and they all breath a sigh of relief.

In their makeshift mess hall, they sit around the table telling stories of what they miss about earth.

Moonshine is being passed around like water. 

"I miss the smell of earth." Emori starts with. "Up here just smells so mechanical."

"I miss meat." Murphy exclaims. "God the first time I tasted it, it was panther. It was amazing!" 

"Panther tastes like shit" Bellamy laughs. "Now boar, that was fucking amazing!"

"Mmmm" They all agree in unison. "Boar was the best."

"I miss the plants." Monty adds in. "it was amazing how many species there were. I hope there are still loads of plants left when we go home."

"You are such a dork!" Harper teases. "I miss bathing in the lake. Now that was amazing!"

"I think I want to make babies when we get to back to earth." Emori tells them.

They all smile. John kisses her gently. "Me too." 

"What about you two? You gonna make babies when we go home?" Raven asks gesturing towards Harper and Monty.

"Yes!" They say in unison giggling.

"I want to build a house first." Monty tells them. 

"That's a good idea" Harper kisses his cheek and grabs his hand. 

"I want to meet my daughter." Bellamy sighs. "I'm gonna tell Clarke I love her and ask me to marry her."

"Pretty bold for a guy who hasn't talked to his girl in 5 years." Murphy teases.

"Naw, she loves me, she tells me so everyday." Bellamy smiles and stretches his arms behind his head. "I'm gonna meet my kid, marry Clarke, build a house, eat tons of boar, and have 10 kids!" He closes his eyes and sighs, dreaming of the future.

They all laugh.

"I can't wait to talk to other people besides you mushy bunch." Raven teases.

"Do you think onekru are doing ok?" Harper throws out there.

"I suppose they have no choice but to work together and make it happen." Bellamy assumes. "Octavia is charge. She's not gonna let shit fall apart. Besides, all 12 Clans are virtually the same now. 100 from each clan levels the playing field. No one clan is better than an another. No one clan has more resources than another. I think they have all learned after 5 years to be just what she wanted, One Kru." 

"My sister is amazing, I miss her." Bellamy sighs.

"She is pretty bad ass." Raven agrees.

They toast, "to one more year and we are home."

They clink cups, "One more year!"

 

 

 

 


	8. Little patch of green

Its been a year and the hydrazine is finally ready.

They pack supplies, food, tools, as much as the rocket can safely hold.

They have no plans of ever coming back to this tin can in the sky.

They strap in and take off.

 _"I am coming home princess"_ Bellamy tells himself.

They hold hands and sit in silence as they are soaring back to the earth.

They land rough, but they made it.

Bellamy's POV

"Please give me a few minutes alone." He pleads with the gang.

"Go get her, lover boy!" Raven laughs. "You deserve this!"

"Go get you some, Rebel King!" Murphy laughs.

"Love you guys." He smiles wide at them all and scrambles out.

Bellamy's POV

He scans the horizen for her.

They landed just outside the only patch of green on the whole planet.

He sees a glimpse of blond near the treeline.

He hesitates, his feet frozen in place for a moment.

Suddenly he is running, running faster than he as ever run in his life.

He see a blond blur running towards him. 

Clarke's POV

She watches the rocket falling from the sky. 

"Oh my God, it's them!" She exclaims.

"Madi, let's go. Our family is coming home."

They load up into the rover and follow the rocket.

"Is it really them?Are you sure?" Madi asks excitedly.

"Yes, I am sure." Clarke answers.

"Do you think they will like me?" Madi inquires nervously.

"No." Clarke responds as she musses up Madi's hair. "They will love you."

She parks near the edge of the woods.

"Just in case, wait here little one, till I call you." 

"Do I have too?" Madi pleads.

"Yes, you really have to." Clarke smiles.

They watch the rocket land.

 Clarke hides the rover and gets out, hiding in the trees.

She sees the rocket door open. 

She freezes, "Bellamy." She whispers, his name like a prayer on her lips.

She watches him as he jumps out of the rocket and surveys the ground. 

She starts towards the rocket.

She hesitates. _"What if he doesn't want me? What if he hates me?"_ thoughts are swirling in her mind _._

_"Its been 6 years, what if he's with someone else?" She wonders._

All those thoughts seem to fade as she sees him running to her.

His face is lit up, his eyes are smiling.

_Just take is slow. Don't come on too strong. Play it cool Clarke._

Instinctively she starts running towards him as well.

_Fuck it_

She crashes into him, jumps into his arms and wraps her legs around him.

Bellamy's POV

"It's Clarke." He breathes in fast.

"She's here." He whispers.

 _"I see you babe. I am coming for you!"_ He says to himself.

He keeps running until they crash together.

His arms come up and wrap around her tightly, he holds her fast and nuzzles his face in her neck, breathing in her hair. 

 _"She is wrapped around me, god I don't want this feeling to stop. I want to hold her like this forever_."

It is intimate already. She is in his arms, legs wrapped around him. He is holding her so tight as if she was going to dissappear in a flash.

He whispers in her ear, "Are you real, am I dreaming? God I missed you. Please be real."

_"I love you, I love you, I love you." He means to say._

Clarke's POV

"Yes, I am real, you came back, you came home." She whispers as she presses a hesitant kiss into his shoulder.

She hugs him tight. The wave of relief and emotion wash over her.

_"Maybe he loves me, he is holding me so tight. He missed me. I'll take this for now. I'll wait and see. I'll take it slow."_

Bellamy's POV

He pulls back from her, to look at her. His smile and heart eyes all over her

His strong arms hold her up. He never wants this feeling to go away.

"Sorry we are late. We didn't have enough fuel to get back. Surpringly it takes a really long time to make more."

_"I love you, I want you"_

He cups her face and stares into her blue eyes. This face, he knew every curve and line in his mind, yet now it was real. She was real.

Clarke's POV

"You came back." She whispers.

"For you." He whispers to her.

He meets the distance between them with his lips on hers. Needy, longing and desperate kisses are shared between them. 

_"Oh god he is kissing me. He tastes like rocket fuel, mint and home. Please don't stop."_

Their kisses are faster now, their breathing has increased _._

_"Just take it slow Clarke, don't freak him out."_

She lifts her hips towards him, grinding into him. 

_"Oops, Too late. God I can't help myself"_

"Fuck Clarke!" 

His hand is on the back of her thigh, pulling her into him even tighter. Grinding back against her. 

He lets out a low growl as he kisses her more intensely. 

He breaks for a moment, his forehead is on hers, as he locks eyes with her.

So much emotion in their faces as they search each other's eyes.

They are both panting and breathing heavy. 

"My heart is yours princess." He whispers. "It always has been." 

_"He loves me, oh god yes he loves me!"_

He kisses her again, deep and full of emotion and love. 

He hugs her tight. "Don't leave me again." He pleads suddenly, his breath hitches, unable to let her out of his grip.

"I can't do this again." He whispers.

"I won't. I never want to leave you again Bellamy." Clarke reassures.

"I...I love you." Clarke confesses.

_"Shit, so much for taking it slow"_

He pulls back to look into her eyes once again.

_"Oh god, I freaked him out. He stopped kissing me and now he is freaked. Nice going idiot."_

"I have always loved you Clarke." He whispers.

She kisses him again, soft and deep, rough and fast.

_"He loves me, oh god he really loves me."_

_She pulls on his shirt and pulls it off of him._

Space kru's POV 

"Can you see anything?" Harper whispers.

"It's a tiny window and I don't want him to see us snooping!" Raven pipes back.

"Why are we whispering?" Murphy asks 

They all laugh. 

Raven stands up and pops her head out. She swivels around and spots Bellamy off in a distance. 

"I see him, he's just standing there." 

"OMG it's Clarke."

"He is running, she is running"

"Damn!"

"What is it?" Harper begs.

"They smashed into each other and she jumped in his arms. It's pretty intense." Raven answers.

"And we have liftoff, they are kissing!!" Raven squeels.

"Yeah!" The girls laugh.

She ducks down fast. 

"Omg!" She laughs

"What. What is it? What did you see?" Emori and Harper implore her.

"I think They are gonna fuck right there in the field. He is shirtless already."

Emori giggles

"Yeah!! Awe he deserves this!" They all squeel.

"I am not waiting in this little rocket while they fuck on the ground." Murphy declares.

Bellamy's _POV_

_I just wants to breath her in. Feel every line and curve of her._

It feels like we only left yesterday. 

 _I can't let you go, I want to hold you forever_.

He is kissing her hard, his tongue exploring her mouth, wrapped up in her arms.

She grinds against him again.

_"Dear God she is going to be the death of me if she does that again!"_

He grinds back against her, pulling her thigh to gain purchase.

_"Fuck it"_

Their kisses intensify. 

"I want you Clarke" he whispers. "I need you." 

"You can have all of me, I am yours." She moans.

_"Pull back before you explode right here."_

"The gang is waiting in the rocket, probably watching" she tries to still his movements.

"Maybe we should do this a little later." She smirks. 

"Let them watch" He growls kissing her again.

"I can't let Madi watch us!" She exclaims.

"Come on, let's go." She insists as she pulls back from him.

"Come meet our daughter, Madi" She whispers happily.

He looks at her with a questioning look in his eyes.

"Ours?" He questions hesitantly in a whisper.

_I already am her father._

Clarke's _POV_

She smiles and whispers "Well, yours if you want the job. I told her all about you. How you were the rebel king, the brave knight and I the princess. How us together were stronger and that you would love her as much as I do. Let's go get everybody and go over to the edge of woods" Now she has the questioning look on her face.

_"He's a sucker for kids right, I hope he still is."_

"I..I can't." He stammers. Her smiles fades.

_"Nope, he doesn't want kids. God why did I just assume?! I can't be with him if he doesn't want her,  Madi is my daughter now, with or without him."_

Staring into her eyes, he hesitates again, "I can't." He sighs and closes his eyes, a tear rolls down his cheek. 

_"I should have waited. Should have kissed him longer.we should have fucked in this field. I didn't want him to stop."_

"Talk to me Bellamy, what is it? Clarke inquires.

He sighs and opens his eyes. "I...I am not ready to move from this spot." He swallows hard.

"I am not ready to let you go. I am afraid I might wake up from this dream and you'll just be a memory." He starts to explain.

"I won't survive it if I loose you again, not this time." He adds.

_"What? He's scared I am a hallucination?"_

He squeezes her tight as if she was going to dissappear at any moment.

She can hardly breath. 

His fingers dig into her thigh and back. 

"I...I thought you were dead, I tried to end it all, twice. Being without you was killing me. I was dead inside without you. Now that I have you for real, I don't think the gods themselves could pull you from me. It broke me being without you. My heart can't handle being broken again Clarke" he explains.

He starts to shake a little. "Please! You are my home, my heart, my center. This needs to be real." He pleads with her.

He pulls her tighter into his arms, breathes in her hair, kisses her hair, her cheek, her head.

"I.Can't.Move." He stifles a cry into her shoulder.

_"Oh god! He thinks I am gonna leave him again. I treated him like shit and he's afraid I am going to run."_

She grabs his face and looks deep into his eyes. Tears are streaming down his face.

"Bellamy Blake, this, right now, right here, it's real. I am here, you are here. I am not going anywhere. I will never leave you again, ever. I love you. You are stuck with me now!" She professes with tears streaming.

Her forehead is pressed into his, they are breathing in sink and staring into one another's eyes.

"It's real Bellamy." She reassures him.

She kisses him hard, biting his lip.

"I am real" 

He kisses her soft and gentle, smiling into each kiss.

Bellamy sighs and whispers. "We were terrible parents to Charlotte, but we will do better this time with Madi. Someday I want my own babies with you Clarke. I love you too"

_"He wants babies. He wants Madi! Oh god I want him!"_

With that she smiles and kisses him deeply again.


	9. His happily ever after

The rest of the gang come barreling out of the rocket.

Their eyes are filled with tears of joy and their voice with laughter.

They spot Bellamy in the distance.

Bellamy is still holding Clarke up, her legs wrapped around him.

They are kissing like they need to breath. 

They watch Bellamy and Clarke and are happy for him. He is no longer broken.

"Thank god." Raven says to the gang.

"Way to go Bellamy, You deserve it buddy" Murphy says.

"Awe, he finally gets his happily ever after." Harper gushes.

"He has waited a long time for this." Emori sighs.

The gang runs towards them. 

Bellamy and Clarke hear their friends in the distance.

They pull back and take a breath. 

They press their foreheads together and lock eyes. They smile. 

"I suppose we should stop." Clarke laughs.

"For a few minutes, you know just to be polite" Bellamy smirks.

He kisses her one more time.

"I love you." He sighs.

"I love you too." She whispers.

One more kiss between them, then he hugs her tight. 

He finally lowers her to the ground as she unwraps her legs from him.

Their friends have arrived.

"Clarke, omg it's really you!" Raven yell out. 

They two women hug and laugh. 

He is still gripping her hand, not ready to let the contact go.

The rest of gang run up and hug her too, it is joyous.

Bellamy cannot bare to not touch her. He holds her hand for as long as reasonable, then it's just little touches, her arm, her back, her neck.

"So where's my niece?" Raven asks. 

"She is just over there in the woods, I hid the rover, up here" Clarke explains. 

They walk over to the woods, where Clarke has hidden the rover.

"Come on out little one, it's safe. Your family is here." Clark calls to her.

Madi slowly creeps out of the rover to look at them. Clarke tells her, "Come here my natblida, come meet Bellamy."

With that the small girls face lights up and she turns to Bellamy. He gets on one knee and opens his arms to her.

She smiles bright and runs to him. Bellamy smiles and hugs her tight. "I am so happy to finally meet you Madi!" he whispers into her ear.

"Now come meet the rest of your family. uncle Monty, aunt harper, uncle murphy, aunt emori, and best of all aunt Raven." Clarke tells the child.

She runs up and hugs everyone. She clings to Raven's side, enthralled with her already.

"Come on back to the rocket. We will build a fire and get out food for you all." Madi declares happily.

Monty and Harper jump into the rover.

"Anybody coming with?" Monty asks.

"No, I think we will walk" the rest of the gang says. 

Madi holds Raven's hand as they walk. 

"Did you really fight off an evil queen who tried to steal everyone's brain? Madi inquires.

"Mama says you fought her all by yourself to get her out if your head, then you helped mama kill the evil queen dead."

Raven just smiles down at the little girl. "Well ya, I did do all that. But it sounds more like a fairytale when you say it."

"Did you really kill yourself and then restart your own heart? Mama says you had to kill the demon in your brain."  Madi asks.

"Yes, I did that too." Raven smiles.

"You are a bad ass warrior!" Madi exclaims.

"Madi, language." Clarke chides.

"Yes, mama." Madi sulks.

"Clarke, what have you been telling this kid? Raven laughs.

"Just telling her the truth about all of you." Clarke smiles.

They all laugh.

Emori and Murphy walk hand and hand. 

"John look at all the green!" Emori exclaims. 

"It is beautiful, just like you." Murphy warmly whispers. He kisses her cheek. 

Madi runs up and grabs Bellamy's hand.

"Mama told me stories about your face." Madi declares.

"What?" Bellamy turns to Clarke with a questioning look. 

"The stars, the constellations. She said your face was filled with freckles like the stars." Madi explains.

"Mama told me all about the stars too and the Greek gods. Mama says you love mythology and history." Madi continues.

"Mama told me the stories of all her friends, but she told the most stories of you. Mama says you are her favorite." Madi babbles on. 

"Guess what Madi, she's my favorite too." Bellamy tells her.

He smiles down at her, while she looks up and smiles back. 

Madi run off to see Raven again leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone.

Clarke and Bellamy linger back and walk slowly, holding hands. He stares at her with a goofy grin just drinking in every inch of her.

"I love you" he tells her as he kisses her hand. 

"I love you Bellamy"

They walk slowly back to the rocket.

 


	10. Papa sounds good

That night they are around the bonfire in eden, the only patch of green on the whole planet.

"What are you guys in the mood for. We have river snake or boar?" Clarke asks.

"Boar!" They all say in unison. "Definitely boar."

They all tell stories of their adventures. For today, they stick to the happy stories.

Raven is braiding Madi's hair happily talking with the child.

Clark is listening to their stories while staring at Bellamy who cannot keep his eyes off of her. They smile, heart eyes all around.

Madi is asking Raven millions of questions.

"Did you really make bombs and blow up a 100 yr old bridge"

"Were you really tied to a tree and cut a thousand times?" 

"Did mama really save you?"

"Did the mountain men really drill holes in you and try to steal your bones?" 

"Is that why your leg doesn't work so good?"

"Did you really kill them a whole civilization?" 

"Did you really..." 

"Madi...take a break" Clarke chides.

"Yes, mama." Madi sighs a little disappointed.

Madi blurts out, "Mama, if you marry Bellamy will he be my dad?"

They both look at each other wide eyes and smile, as the crowd laughs.

"Out of the mouth of babes!" Raven exclaims.

"I like this kid." Murphy laughs.

 _"Oh god! Why did she say that. Let's not rush him."_ Clarke says to herself _._

Clarke stammers, "I..I don't know...Let's not talk about that right now honey, I mean..."

Bellamy cuts her off, "Yes, I will" he smiles down at the little girl and touches her shoulder.

He always was a sucker for kids. He can't help it.

 _"Don't say that if you don't mean it. That little girls been through enough_." She chides him in her head.

Clarke stammers again, "Bell I...We...come on...we should talk...she didn't mean, don't get her hopes up..."

Bellamy cuts her off again. "Nope...I have waited 6 years, I am not waiting any longer! We wasted so much time not saying how we felt, I am not losing anymore time. I love you with every fiber of my being, with every breath that is in me. In front of the gods and our friends and the stars, right here, right now, in the only patch of green on this whole fucking planet will you Clark Griffin marry me?" He asks.

_"Holy shit, did he just ask me to marry him?"_

Clarke is blown away by his declaration. She grasps for words. " I mean...we haven't..It's not like I expect...you don't have to..."

Bellamy is now on one knee in front of her. "Clarke, I love you, I have been in love with you for 7 years, practically since I met you. Do you love me?"

She stares into his eyes, "With every breath in me, yes, yes I love you. Bellamy"

"Well then, marry me. Besides, you know you want me." He smirks at her with that long forgotten cocky smirk of his.

She nods her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ok, is that a yes? He questions.

Clarkes throws her arms around his neck, "Yes, it's a yes!" She laughs and pulls him in for a kiss.

"Then tonight, under the stars, on this ground, in front of our family, I commit my life to you, to love you forever. To keep you alive, always put you first or die trying. I will protect our daughter with my life and love her forever.  Bellamy pledges to her. "I am with you always until our journey to the ground." they state in unison.

_"Did we just exchange vows?? Clarke ponders._

They kiss. His hands on her hips, her arms around his neck and in his hair. He pulls her close she pulls him in tighter.

Their friends all cheer and clap. They remember finally, that they are still in front of their friends.

They pull away as if they needed each other to breath. "I love you" they both say.

Raven pipes out, "Well that was unexpected!" We haven't even been on the ground for 24 hours and you two are married!"

Bellamy looks up and smiles, the first true smile they have seen on his face in 6 years, "I couldn't wait another 6 years" he says plainly to her.

Murphy , "Way to seal the deal bud. You made my proposal look like shit!" He laughs

Emori nudges his shoulder, "Hey, I still said yes though, it was sweet!"

Monty says, "Harper asked me to marry her a week after we got to Space. Well she just told me really." Harper smacks his arm, "Hey! I asked..sort of" she laughs.

"What? Harper you came into our room and said, I am not going to be your girlfriend for 6 fucking years, marry me now! Monty laughs as he kisses her cheek. "I still said yes though!" 

Raven tells Madi, "Come her my little neice, we are gonna stay up tonight. Braid your hair tell stories? Looks like mom and dad need some time alone." Madi nods wildly. Raven smiles as she meets Clarkes eyes.

Their friends all start cheering and whistling.

"Go repopulate the earth!" Murphy shouts.

Madi, turns and hugs Clarke and then hugs Bellamy.

"Goodnight mama," and then hesitantly "Goodnight...papa?" staring up into Bellamy's eyes.

He stares back at her and smiles, "Papa sounds good." as he musses her hair and places a single kiss on the top of her head. "Papa sounds really good"

 

 


	11. Don't ever let me go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut smut smut

Clarke leads him to the rover and they drive out a ways to a secluded spot.

They hold hands while she drives.

He can't stop smiling at her. She is quiet as she drives.

"What's wrong? I didn't rush you did I? I hope I didn't freak you out back there? Too much, too soon?" He inquires.

 _"Great not even down here for even 24 hrs and I already fucked it up. Nice going Blake."_ He tells himself _._

"I used to see you." She starts to explain.

"What?" He gasps.

"When I was alone I used to see you down here with me." She confesses.

"Now that you are really here, I am just taking my time, drinking it all in."

"It was too fast. I am sorry." Bellamy apologies.

She grabs his hand.

"No, no, it's not too much, it's more like now let's not waste another single moment. l meant my vows back there Bellamy. I love you." She reassures.

"I love you too Clarke." He kisses her hand. Heart eyes smile.

"I used to see you too." He confesses. "During the day I would talk to you and see you all over the station. At night I would see you die. I had such terrible nightmares." He admits to her.

"I'm sorry." Clarke whispers.

"Don't be." He whispers, kissing her hand again and holding to his face.

She stops the rover, they get out and she opens the back. They grab some furs and blankets and spread them out on the ground.

"Are you hungry? She asks, as she fumbles around the rover.

"Not for food." He boldly says, intense eyes on her.

She stops fumbling around and turns to him.

He grabs her face and kisses her deep.

She parts her lips and explores his mouth with her tongue.

They moan with each swipe of their tongue.

She grabs at his shirt and he takes it off.

He picks her up. She wraps her legs around him. 

They are kissing hard and fast. 

She is grinding hard into him.

She undoes his belt and zipper, he is grasping at her pants.

She stands up and wiggles them off. 

She jumps into his arms again. 

They kiss fast as if they are devouring each other. 

He grinds up against her, her back is to the rover. 

She reaches down and pulls his jeans down just to enough so she can grab his rock hard cock. She guides him into her throbbing center, he slides into her with a single thrust.. 

They moan, "Oh god" 

He is thrusting into her hard and fast. His jeans barely pulled down to his thighs.

It doesn't last long. "Oh god Bellamy!" She cries out. She is coming.

"Princess!" He exclaims, he is coming with her now. "Oh god yes" 

He thrusts a few more times, he comes in her. They are both shaking and breathless. 

He holds her there just taking it all in. They are both panting and breathless.

He doesn't want to move. He has waited for this for 6 years. 

He finally lowers her down and kisses her slowly.

He pulls his jeans up. 

They laugh. 

They lay on the furs and just hold each other.

They talk about their time apart.

He strokes her face and kisses soft and gently.

Between kisses he tells her highlights of his time in space.

"About 6 months in I heard you." He kisses her neck.

"The radio receiver worked, but the transceiver didn't." He trails kisses down to her breasts.

"I...I heard you everyday." He tells her softly as he kisses her mouth again.

She pulls back.

"Every day? All of it?" She gasps. He kisses her lips.

"All of it. Your wants and needs. How you love me. When you found our daughter. Everyday I was with you." He confesses. "For 5 and a half years" he kisses down her stomach.

"I was so happy to hear your voice. Just listening to you gave me the strength to live for 6 years. I was a strong leader, for you."

Fervent kisses are being placed all over.

"I missed you so much, I loved you so much. I love you so much." She pours her heart to him.

She kisses him hard. 

"Can't get enough of me can you?" He says with a smirk.

"As if you don't want me as much as I want you!" She retorts.

"No, I want you more!" He exclaims.

He grabs her face and devours her with kisses. 

She is on top of him grinding against his bulge, his rock hard length begging to be released from his tight jeans.

She starts undoing his belt, "Bellamy, I need" she moans into his mouth.

He flips her over so he is on top.

"Tell me what you need." He kisses her neck and undoes his jeans.

"I will give you anything" he pops a nipple into his mouth and sucks gently while flicking his tongue on it. She gasps. "Oh god Bellamy!"

"I would do anything for you, Princess." He promises to her in between kisses.

She pulls his face up to hers and kisses him wildly, sloppy and needy, grinding up against his bulge hard.

"Bell, I need you, I need you in me again." Clarke pleads. _._

"Fuck princess, you don't play around" he smirks.

With that he stands up and takes off his jeans. 

He leans down and she grabs at him.

She is on top again and she is practically climbing him like a wall.

"Patience, princess." He whispers.

"I can't help it Bell. I want you. I am never going to stop wanting you.." She pants.

Their arms entwined, breath mingling.

She is grinding into him hard again.

She kneels up and guides his rock hard need into her center. She slides down to the bottom. They both gasp.

"Fuck Clarke! god that feels unreal." He shouts out.

He practically comes the minute she is on him.

 _"She will be the death of me, but at least I'll die a happy man_." He tells himself.

They start slowly this time, as she rises and falls on him.

He whispers "I love you..I want make babies with you...god you are beautiful...god that is good" 

He is deep inside her, feeling every inch of her.

It doesn't take long, she is coming again, calling his name repeatedly "Bellamy! Bellamy! Oh god Bell!

He speeds up to meet her and soon he is coming, crashing in the waves of ecstasy with her, her name like a prayer on his lips.

"Fuck! Clarke!" He moans.

He releases inside her holding her body tight, his body shaking and shivering at the sensations. 

He lays down beside her and she curls under his arm and lays her head on his chest. She strokes little circles into his torso.

"Bell, don't ever let me go this time." She whispers.

"Never princess, never." Bellamy responds.

"Bellamy, do you really want to make babies with me?" Clarke questions.

He picks his head up and turns to look into her eyes. "God yes Clarke, I want babies with you!"

She smiles. "Good, because we might have just started tonight. My implant stopped working 6 years ago." His eyes grow wide and he smiles.

He kisses her again. "Well, let's work on those babies right now then" he climbs on top of her again as she laughs.

 


End file.
